Double-Edged Swords

I consider myself to be both sensitive and creative. Both of these characteristics bring with them their own set of pros and cons. Sensitivity can be a charming attribute of personality as it allows for me to be very tuned in to the feelings of others. I can identify and seriously empathize with my friends and the world in general. I often cry when someone is a big winner on a TV show or when the boy gets the girl (or when the girl gets the girl). This positive aspect of of this characteristic seems to draw people to me, big time.
The flip side of sensitivity is the over reaction, at least at times, to external stimuli. While I have learned to challenge myself in my overreactions, they happen nonetheless. I do my best to not let loose on people outwardly when I am wounded, but my soul often feels penetrated to its core. This is actually more injurious to me than anyone else, but is the price I seem to have to pay to  possess the opposing and more fulfilling (to myself and others) side of being a sensitive individual.

Creativity is also subject to duality.  I believe that in many ways my ability to create saves my life every day. I can’t tell you how many days I wake up almost drowning in adrenalin because I am anxious to get to the things I have either literally or mentally outlined for myself to create that day. It makes my day exciting and worth living. So you say, “What could be the down side to that??”
Well, the underbelly to the positive excitement in planning my day is the negative stress reaction I can have if I allow my imagination to slip away from me and create upsetting images or projections.
That is one reason why they say people with agoraphobia are usually very sensitive, intelligent, caring and creative people. If taken to the extreme (and agoraphobics do) the imagination can concoct all kinds of fearful projections about the outcome in almost any situation.
The only ways I have found to combat this unpleasant side of a beautiful characteristic is with positive self-talk and in attempting to stay in the “now.” When I let my life get ahead of me, as it often does, I create all kinds of problems for myself.  Hence I create my own negative day
Now enuff of that Ellen!



2 thoughts on “Double-Edged Swords

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