Medical Attention Continues….and a bit bewildered!

Below is the next journal entry I made about Claire (physical therapist) coming to address the problem with my ankle. I was hoping that I’d have a better visit with Claire this time anxiety-wise, but alas, that was not to be the case.

April 1, …

I woke up this morning feeling very anxious and SCARED, still somewhat in disbelief that this could all be about the anticipation of Claire’s visit today. It’s April Fool’s Day….maybe not a real good day to start my treatment! Claire was due at 1 p.m. on this first day, and as the hour approached I got more and more anxious. I took a valium earlier this day but it didn’t seem to help. As I have learned tranquilizers will help with anxiety but will really take away feelings. I was supposing by now that what I was feeling was true fear, but WHY?  I really like and admire this person and my “inner child” has not had anyone to play with (in the terms of having a good or fun conversation) for a long time and Claire was a person you could do that with, so I KNOW deep down inside that I was looking forward to spending time with her so what was I so SCARED of? The clock had ticked long passed 1 p.m. when I finally got a call from the home health agency that Claire worked for and was told she was stuck in an elevator somewhere! Oh gosh, I hoped she was ok and not scared herself. Ut oh, but how was I to calm ME down? I was already so stressed and now had to deal with not knowing where she was or when she would be here. My anxiety soared, up, up, up! Finally Claire arrived just short of an hour later. She worked on my ankle (massage) and then worked on my left shoulder. I told her I was very nervous, but was not sure why. I was hoping just stating the fact would help alleviate some of the anxiety, but alas, no luck. She told me that I was approved for 8 weeks of physical therapy with a total of 14 visits. How was I going to do this if this level of anxiety doesn’t pass? Claire called into the office from my home and found out that my x-rays were negative so we proceeded on the assumption that whatever was in my ankle was all soft tissue “stuff.” She had recently become certified to do something called Kinesio Taping and asked me if I wanted to try it. She said that nowadays a lot of athletes and even Olympians were using it with great success. I agreed to give it a try and the plan was to start with the taping of my ankle during my next session the following session, which was Thursday. We now had a regular schedule laid out, which was Monday and Thursday at 2p.m…I was again bewildered at the level of my anxiety and was hoping that I could continue with the treatments!!  All I could do was put one foot in front of the other and see where it led.  Tune in!



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